wolves

i'm back and i'm so happy to be back. in bunbury at the moment and trying to write music. also to record it, which depresses me. i don't have a clue what i'm doing and everything sounds so shitty. shouldn't lo-fi recording (as in "a bit like the mountain goats" rather than as in "science") be easy? i can't really record when i'm in perth, either, because i don't have a decent computer and i'm homeless - well, living at m.m.'s, anyway, so i don't really have a quiet space of my own. someone help me. i have a pretty big collection of songs now and i don't know what to do with any of them.

i don't want to get a job because i need time to learn about this stuff!

the other night m.m. said "hey so uhhhhh B and T want to apply for this amazing house. just round the corner on W street. it's huge and awesome and has like five bedrooms, and they wanted to know if you wanted to move in with us all. you could have a room to yourself, or maybe you could share a room with me if you wanted"

it was pretty exciting and also romantic! so then we went and looked at the house. ït was so so good and i wanted to live there so bad. but then we told B that i was "in" and she got all excited and called the real estate agent who said they'd already had two applicants. heartbreaking. even though it hadn't occurred to me as a possibility a couple of weeks ago, now all i want to do is live in a big mt lawley house with m.m. and his housemates and it seems like nothing else will ever make me happy. although obviously it will.

but jobhunting is so boring that i can't bring myself to househunt as well, not yet.

ANYWAY! the reason i am here was to note down a song i wrote in buenos aires. i wrote a couple there but i like this best. i'm pleased with the lyrics, except the second verse, and possibly the third* (well i'm pleased with some of the lyrics), and it's fun to play although i haven't really worked out where to pause for breath yet. TOO MANY WORDS CAROLINE. boy do i like writing words.

WOLVES
well, i wrote out my songs like you told me to in february
knowing you, you're so contrary you'll just throw them out
and i wrote out my sins: i disguised them in a letter
still, i don't feel that much better just for having put them down

you said we'd done well passing through all this frustration
and deserved a celebration: yes, we'd earnt it, had we not?
so you opened up the door, rolled the rug up from the floor
and then you called our friends and asked them, what the hell you waiting for?

and the sheep dressed like wolves and the wolves dressed like flowers
and the clock announced the hour from its corner in the hall
and the chimes came so fast that it felt like time was flying
so we danced like we would die should ever morning come to call

i once loved wolves, you know, and then i came to fear them
when i saw the light that shines inside their jaws and draws me in, oh lord
i once loved wolves, it's true: i thought that you were one of them
but though i feared those paws of yours you took my hand and took me in
i once loved wolves before i'd touched your face and paced your floor
and though i was so scared back then, these days i'm sure
and if i loved those wolves, please know that i was younger then
no connessieur of wolves nor men

well i wrote out my vows and i wrote you in my story
though i know that kind of glory doesn't interest you much now
and your hair's turning grey but it looks so good that way
it makes me wish i had the goodness that would make you want to stay.

yes you look so good that way
it makes me wish i had the goodness that would make you want to stay.
---

*oh yeah. the line "no connessieur of wolves nor men". too much? in my head it is weightless and whimsical, but i'm worried it comes across as earnest and pained.