hey world

i'm so excited right now you guys!

i still don't have a job! i spose i should get one soon. srsly though i am probably the busiest person i know who doesn't have one :0

i have a music project-y thing on the boiler right now which has been really challenging and fun

i am loving sunset events SICK. the people are pretty rad. putting together events is such a complex and exciting and rewarding thing, i think?! one movement for music festival is next weekend and i'm PSYCHED

i am into drawing right now! i have always thought of myself as "HOPELESS AT ART" and i not really a visual person but i have been having a great old time doing some sketching. i like drawing animals best. my aim is to get good enough for drawing so i can draw a picture of... no i'm gonna keep it a secret. i bought some nice pencils and a kneadable eraser today, normally i just sketch with artline 0.4.

my other new fascination is: BENTO BOXES. all i want to eat is japanese food, but i want to learn to make some tasty tidbits instead of buying stale teriyaki tofu all the friggin' time!

okay that's probably all woooOOOOOO
love caro

love of to-do lists

hey internet,

you haven't heard much from me lately, i guess.

i've been doing a lot of things though.

one of the big things is that i've been getting really into TO DO LISTS. i've always used them on-and-off in the past, but i think i'm finally learning how to use them effectively.

i made myself a hipster pda and have clipped it to the front of a cheap diary. in the morning and the evening i go through and strike off the things i have done and update it with more things to do. it's working really well. i get so much pleasure from striking things off the list. i've also learnt to break tasks down into their components instead of being all like "oh god today i have to PREPARE UNI APPLICATION where do i even BEGIN"

of course, this might all fall apart when i actually get really busy.

i've written two short stories in the last week or two. not really short stories so much as "creative non-fiction," i guess. it's good to write lots. i've even been drawing a bit, although drawing isn't really something i am good at. i feel like i should be trying to extend creativity into as many corners of my life as i can.

i've been trying to write music, like always. it's going so-so.

i'm doing volunteer work at sunset events. event management interests me. admittedly that is largely because i want to be able to manage myself.

i've applied for uni next year. i feel weird about it. i really want to study, but there's only one course i'm really interested in right now, and i'm not at all sure i'll get into it.

there are many other plans going down too. it feels really really good!

ummmm i just felt like updating and now i have yeeeeeah
love caro

wolves

i'm back and i'm so happy to be back. in bunbury at the moment and trying to write music. also to record it, which depresses me. i don't have a clue what i'm doing and everything sounds so shitty. shouldn't lo-fi recording (as in "a bit like the mountain goats" rather than as in "science") be easy? i can't really record when i'm in perth, either, because i don't have a decent computer and i'm homeless - well, living at m.m.'s, anyway, so i don't really have a quiet space of my own. someone help me. i have a pretty big collection of songs now and i don't know what to do with any of them.

i don't want to get a job because i need time to learn about this stuff!

the other night m.m. said "hey so uhhhhh B and T want to apply for this amazing house. just round the corner on W street. it's huge and awesome and has like five bedrooms, and they wanted to know if you wanted to move in with us all. you could have a room to yourself, or maybe you could share a room with me if you wanted"

it was pretty exciting and also romantic! so then we went and looked at the house. ït was so so good and i wanted to live there so bad. but then we told B that i was "in" and she got all excited and called the real estate agent who said they'd already had two applicants. heartbreaking. even though it hadn't occurred to me as a possibility a couple of weeks ago, now all i want to do is live in a big mt lawley house with m.m. and his housemates and it seems like nothing else will ever make me happy. although obviously it will.

but jobhunting is so boring that i can't bring myself to househunt as well, not yet.

ANYWAY! the reason i am here was to note down a song i wrote in buenos aires. i wrote a couple there but i like this best. i'm pleased with the lyrics, except the second verse, and possibly the third* (well i'm pleased with some of the lyrics), and it's fun to play although i haven't really worked out where to pause for breath yet. TOO MANY WORDS CAROLINE. boy do i like writing words.

WOLVES
well, i wrote out my songs like you told me to in february
knowing you, you're so contrary you'll just throw them out
and i wrote out my sins: i disguised them in a letter
still, i don't feel that much better just for having put them down

you said we'd done well passing through all this frustration
and deserved a celebration: yes, we'd earnt it, had we not?
so you opened up the door, rolled the rug up from the floor
and then you called our friends and asked them, what the hell you waiting for?

and the sheep dressed like wolves and the wolves dressed like flowers
and the clock announced the hour from its corner in the hall
and the chimes came so fast that it felt like time was flying
so we danced like we would die should ever morning come to call

i once loved wolves, you know, and then i came to fear them
when i saw the light that shines inside their jaws and draws me in, oh lord
i once loved wolves, it's true: i thought that you were one of them
but though i feared those paws of yours you took my hand and took me in
i once loved wolves before i'd touched your face and paced your floor
and though i was so scared back then, these days i'm sure
and if i loved those wolves, please know that i was younger then
no connessieur of wolves nor men

well i wrote out my vows and i wrote you in my story
though i know that kind of glory doesn't interest you much now
and your hair's turning grey but it looks so good that way
it makes me wish i had the goodness that would make you want to stay.

yes you look so good that way
it makes me wish i had the goodness that would make you want to stay.
---

*oh yeah. the line "no connessieur of wolves nor men". too much? in my head it is weightless and whimsical, but i'm worried it comes across as earnest and pained.

things that fly

today we went to the zoo. i like the zoo on a bleak day, it is nicely gothic.






i wish i could drawwwwww!

does anyone have a typewriter they would like to give me? your answer is: YES

muy extraño

one sort of weird thing that has happened lately is that i'm interested in clothes again. i got so bored and angry with fashion before i left and sort of stopped caring about what i wore. i've never been a very fashionable person anyway but i still enjoyed playing with clothes, it was sort of an easy creative outlet when i didn't have the energy to write words or play guitar.

but now that i have been deprived of decent outfits for six months i am all of a sudden obsessed with clothes. it's very strange. i can't wait to get back to my wardrobe and have the opportunity to play with my clothes again! i can't stop thinking about colours and textures and shapes.

i would like to wear less boring clothes and include more colour and more items of good quality in my wardrobe, i think.

i am pretty obsessed with:

-a-line skirts that sit above the knee.
-pretty sleeves elesticised above the elbow that look like something juliet would have worn.
-lace.
-pink (this is deeply unusual), baby blue (somewhat unusual), red and black (not unusual)
-zippers and tartan.
-oversized bows.
-things that look like they should be worn to a dancing class.
-patterned tights (ALWAYS).
-high-collared coats.
-knotted and plaited stretch fabrics.
-fine tulle.
-legwarmers.
-black lace-up boots.
-thick colourful eyeshadow.
-braiding my hair across the forehead.
-elbow-length gloves.
-rainbow tie-dye with black.
-bodysuits & leotards (unfortunately only AA seem to stock them, the big jerks).

man the only problem with thinking about clothes a lot is that it makes me feel guilty. i'm not really sure why it should be a less worthy creative outlet than, say, painting. i guess because there is more money involved. ahhh.

yayyyy

things i have been thinking about, and inspired by, lately:

fungi
birds of paradise
taxonomy
humus and tzatziki and falafel
places to live
onesie swimsuits
boxer boots
notebooks with squared paper
making jewellery
bats
skeletons
enormous trees with dangly bits
treehouses
cage skirts
cage dresses
sewing!
lace

(for my own reference alright)

mancora is brilliant! it feels more like a holiday than the rest of our holiday put together.

home soon!

more to-do lists

lately, when i'm waiting for something (which happens reasonably often when you travel), i have been making lists of things i want to do. they are pretty far-reaching lists, but i figure that if i keep track, maybe i will be more effective at achieving them? and it's always nice to strike things off a list. so for now, here are some books i want to get down with.

TO READ:
tolstoy - anna karenina
william golding - the inheritors (i am reading this at the moment), lord of the flies
gabriel garcia marquez - love in the time of cholera, one hundred years of solitude
dostoevsky - notes from underground, crime and punishment
steinbeck - the grapes of wrath, of mice and men, the red pony
hemingway - the old man and the sea, for whom the bell tolls
hunter s. thompson - fear and loathing in las vegas
tim winton - cloud street
peter carey - oscar and lucinda
bukowski - factotum
james baldwin - giovanni's room
jay mcirney - bright lights big city
jonathan safran foer - everything is illuminated
d.h. lawrence - sons and lovers
yann martel - the life of pi
salman rushdie - fury, the satanic verses, midnight's children
nabokov - pale fire
henry miller - tropic of capricorn, tropic of cancer
toni morrison - beloved

to do list

things i want to do when i am back in australia:

-make amazing quinoa pie
-make strawberry juice
-make homemade lemonade

i have had all of these things in bolivia and they are all so good it's not even funny.

30. outlaws

one more for the road. believe it or not there are more where these came from!

it is pretty facetious and silly; if you seek out any 'commentary' i think you will be disappointed.

30. outlaws

from the start i was running from goodness
from the start i was chasing the blame
but try as i did i was always the kid
with the manners the mercy and shame

the powers relentlessly praised me
for the hopeless bland state of my child
and though i've grown older the trail's run cold:
i'm no less obnoxiously mild

but at sixteen said mildness near killed me
and it took on the shape of a crime
i was shunned by my peers for my CNN tears
and my reeking of pacifist grime

for a child who seeks fairness is charming
but a teenager deeply naive
and an adult who seeks basic healthcare for all
is an adult in need of reprieve

so i first tasted life as an outlaw
and i finally tasted the blame
i didn't go in for the sex or the drugs
but the rock and roll got me, the same

i confess when i met you shocked me
i was rocked by your criminal mind
that shoplifting habit seemed roughly akin
to the armoured assault of the blind

i was short of the change for a train fare
you said, 'why not let's ride anyway'
so i broke my first law, and in one minute more
a policeman was striding my way

he let me off quick to berate you:
guess i've one of those girlish expressions
that permits me to suffer for crimes of free thought
but negates my more candid transgressions

now a gentleman can't pass a schoolyard
without summonses coming his way
but the masters of banking can't hold off their wanking
in thoroughfares every day

and the sergeants and sheriffs, they flocked to you
but in all of their frenzy they missed
your most glorious crimes through the layers of slime
and depravity mired in their fists

and you smirk when i say that we're outlaws
we're as small time as ever you saw
but we're biting the hands that forcefeed us this shit
from the ends of the arms of the law

if i knew how to live for the both of us
i'd do everything that i could do
but my socialist bent and aversion to rent
is as much of a problem as you

still, i don't much mind living as outlaws
and i've warmed to the flavour of blame
the drugs bore me still, but the sex has improved
and the rock and roll still feels the same.

29. songs that will keep you awake at night

my aim while i'm away is to finish as many songs as possible. i had a stack of 30 or so unfinished songs, but i'm slowly managing to finish them off. this is a upbeat wee blues song.

29. songs that will keep you awake at night

i'm so mad at myself for not having written
'please release me,' or 'love minus zero'
those songs were once mine, oh, i swear they were mine
not the ramblings of some folk-rock hero

i want to sing songs that will keep you awake at night
songs that are joyous, songs that are bright
but i'll never sing a line with this godforsaken throat
just sit here scowling at words i once wrote

i never think twice when it comes to being cruel
but i only show love after whiskey
of course, it's an excellent plan at the time
but i cannot pretend it's not risky

and most days i think that i'll give up the drink
but eventually comes 'round a time
that my chest fills with fire and the speech i desire
requires the blessing of wine

i want to sing songs that will keep you awake at night
songs that are glorious, songs that are bright
but with this godforsaken voice i'll never sing a song
just think of you sleeping the whole damn night long

i want to pull moves to make you shake in your boots
but i fear they won't be to your liking
if i had more courage i'd fall at your feet,
or i'd run at your chest like a viking

i don't want to tease you; i'm desperate to please you
but i feel that i don't have much choice
with this shyness of mine, my gelatinous spine
and this curse of a pitiful voice

i want to sing songs that will keep you awake at night
songs that are glorious, songs that are bright
but with this godforsaken voice i'll never sing a song
just think of you sleeping the whole damn night long

i want to sing songs that will keep you awake at night
songs that are stellar, songs that are bright
but with this godforsaken shyness i'll never sing a note
just sit here cursing my godforsaken throat.

28. a drop of golden sun (cont.)

i've written some more of this song, after almost a month. it's a friggin' epic, especially considering that i try not to write long songs. but it is entertaining to write.

a drop of golden sun
it was clear from the beginning that king cobra ruled the land
they saw him first on horseback in the breeze
and as he swaggered over with his portrait in his hand
he commanded the attention of the trees

jed kelly was a black sheep, or a dark horse, if you will
and he played guitar so gentle and so deep
that you had to strain your ears to extract a single note
but that note could haunt the spectres of your sleep

king cobra was a gamblin' man with aces up his sleeve
he said to jed, 'let's start a game right here'
but the troops had no desire to leave the lamb upon the fire
for the sober realm of poker chips and beer

and then in walked susanna as pale as they were dark
ash coated from the sacrificial sheep
she said, 'i got no money and i cannot cut a deck
but i'd kind of like to play myself to sleep'

susie dreamt of home and of her darling waiting there
with lines that played about his mouth and grey stripes in his hair
and for her lonesome badger she'd eschewed a dozen lovers
all people dream alone, they'd think, but some moreso than others

they set up on the patio. king cobra poured the beer
and divided up the chips between the three
jed kelly sat to susie's left, king cobra to her right
his outstretched ankle resting by her knee

he curled a fist of smoking herb and pressed it to her mouth
she glanced at him and pulled it through her chest
jed flicked a look at cobra but the king was loathe to tell
if susie had just passed or failed his test

the game at last got started, though it wasn't long to be
jed kelly dealt the flop, the turn, the river
a breeze came in at three a.m. the players kept their cool
though each repressed a secret silent shiver

the cobra's hand was fierce; he was confident of glory
jed knew it and he dropped his pairing down
susanna, she just smiled and said, 'i´ll hang in for a while'
then she raised the stakes and swiped the cobra´s crown

the king spat out in anger, but he took lucinda's hand
then took a cigarette against the wall
king cobra, it was certain, was the ruler of the land
but the sun king was the ruler of them all

now having struck the cobra once, susanna seemed to pale
jed kelly sniffed the bluffer's casual fear
it hardly took a minute to destroy her tidy pile
¨good game,¨ said she, and poured herself beer

'i can't believe you leave me in the morning,' said the king
'both of you. but susie, mainly you.'
jed rolled his eyes 'well, thanks a lot,' he told his friend and rival
'and i'm sure that i'll be thinking of you too'

'why don't you leave as well?' asked susie, puzzled by his speech
'my grandad died last friday night,' said he.
'now i hold a sitting shiva, and i cannot leave this place.'
he dealt another game out for the three.

27. three prong cactus island

i've been going crazy writing lyrics lately as a way of procrastinating from spanish school. it's great.

27. three prong cactus island

there's a jesus on every damn hill in this town
and an elvis in each kitchenette
one gave his life to bring joy to mankind
and the other's a deity's pet.
i could spend my life writing these letters to you
to be honest, i probably will
but there's only so much i can say in this town
with a jesus on every hill.

there's a beggar on every street corner round here
and i'm never quite sure if it's right
to withhold my endoresement by keeping my change,
thereby letting him starve for the night
see, what i don't give to beggars, i pass on to buskers
which seems quite a rational choice
but it may well just be that i'm tricking myself:
i'm a fool for a man with a voice

i got a three prong cactus shadowing my stride
and blocking my path to the moon
but i don't plan to worry, i'm not in a hurry
i'm not heading there anytime soon
i got a three prong cactus shadowing my stride
and keeping me safe from the light
so i'm hidden all day from the UVB rays
and i dance round the desert at night

if i wrote you a song, could you help me to sing?
see, i'm not often heard on my own
i can bellow quite loud when there's no one around
but i speak in a growl on the phone
i'm not often pleased by the people i meet
but i'm wholly enamoured with you
and that rough-hewn cast that assembles your past
won my envy and won my heart too

i got a three prong cactus shadowing my stride
and blocking my path to the moon
but i don't plan to worry, i'm not in a hurry
i'm not heading there anytime soon
i got a three prong cactus shadowing my stride
and keeping me safe from the light
so i'm hidden all day from the UVB rays
and i dance round the desert at night

you're the delicate type, but i like you for that
though i fear i will snap you in two
me, i'm strong as an ox breaking out of the box
that would act as his ride to the zoo
i know it may seem that i'm no young man's dream
but darling, you never can tell
i got shade on my stride but there's luck on my side
and an island of cacti as well

26. a drop of golden sun

this is a song i´ve been working on. it´s nowhere near complete which i think means it´s going to be really long! which is a bad thing because i don´t like to write long songs. who do i think i am bob friggin dylan?

it´s pretty silly but it has been fun to write!

26. a drop of golden sun

it was clear from the beginning that king cobra ruled the land
they saw him first on horseback through the breeze
and as he swaggered over with his portrait in his hand
he commanded the attention of the trees

jed kelly was a black sheep, or a dark horse, if you will
and he played guitar so gentle and so deep
that you had to strain your ears to extract a single note
but that note could haunt the spectres of your sleep

king cobra was a gamblin´ man with aces up his sleeve
he said to jed, ¨let´s start a game right here¨
but the troops had no desire to leave the lamb upon the fire
for the sober realm of poker chips and beer

but then in walked susanna, as pale as they were dark
ash coated from the sacrificial sheep
she said, ¨i got no money, and i cannot cut a deck
but i´d kind of like to play myself to sleep¨

suzie dreamt of home and of her darling waiting there
with lines that played about his mouth and grey stripes in his hair
and for her lonesome badger, she´d eschewed a dozen lovers
most people dream alone, they´d think, but some moreso than others

they set up on the patio. king cobra poured the beer
and divided up the chips between the three
jed kelly sat to suzie´s right, king cobra to her left
his outstretched ankle resting by her knee.

...TO BE CONTINUED

Last post for a while

I'm going to South America for six months & may or may not have time for creativity. Check out We Cannot Pronounce Buenos Aires for details of my travels & hopefully I'll be back soon.

Love love love
Lion

more like a three day war

oh hey just so you know i wound up finishing off six day war! good on me. i really like the tune for the main verses i think, since i've had it in my head all day.

i didn't nail the melody until the 1st february but that's okay i think. and it needs a bit of practise but it's about as complete as can be for now.

now i need to write a song for february!

i leave for argentina in eight days.

love love love
lion

25. six day war

here is the song i said i would work on so far. i don't really like the title and i don't know if its a problem that the motifs of "one hundred and eighty two days" and "six day war" kind of clash. it probably is.

i didn't start out intend to write about my travel anxieties but of course these things have a way of rearing their heads once you begin to offload words, and at first i couldn't work out whether i was writing about my desire to leave perth and see something wonderful, which seemed to cheapen my life in perth and the people i love here, or if i was writing about my travel anxieties and desire to be safe and smothered by the people i love, which seemed to cheapen the whole "travel" thing that i am spending a whole lot of money/time/energy on.

and then i realised that it was completely okay to write about both, probably more interesting, really, and indeed it was completely okay to feel both things. and then i felt better about what i was writing and better about what i was doing! songwriting as therapy, man!

when i was learning to play guitar i took a bunch of book out of the state library, and they had quite a comprehensive selection of bluegrass/country/folk/americana books that were suitable for the beginning guitarist, lots of woody guthrie and pete seeger, so i wound up with a headful of old-timer fingerpicking techniques and silly countrified lyrical idioms (eg. "well i got no money but i got my honey..." what the fuck?). now almost anything i write seems to employ them, which i don't really mind, but it would be nice if i were a bit better at writing songs that don't sound make me sound like a woody guthrie wannabe (although i suppose it worked for bob dylan).

i always have great difficulty jumping between literal and symbolic/abstract songwriting. i can never decide which is preferable and which i am more adept at, and consequently i tend to jump uncomfortably between the two. i'm not sure how to rectify this at the moment, except to keep consciously working on it, i guess.

verses 1, 2, 4, 5 and 8 have one tune. verses 3, 6 and 7 have another one (so "christian audigier" ought to rhyme with "day," sort of, not "hair").

the verse with the spanish is so completely silly and probably nonsensical.

anyway this is a whole lotta talking and a whole lotta nothing.

25. six day war
i skip left of the boy with the slippery grin
and i slip to the right of his cheshire twin
cause i can't quite look at the stretch of his skin
anymore, anymore, anymore

and it looks like i'm gonna run late for my plane
and in sydney i'm likely to do it again
leaving boxes of paper and pockets of pain
and the shreds of the last six day war

there's a prince over there with a crown in his hair
that says, von dutch by christian audigier
but i don't really mind 'cause i'll leave him behind
for a hundred and eighty two days

i rather suspect i'll consider instead
the most gorgeous and erudite man in my head
and i'll entertain thoughts of him lying in bed
and the day that i'll see him again

he'll call me and tell me, 'hello, esposito'
i'm write him from rio and lima and quito
to say, 'macchu piccu es muy bonito
y tu mama es bonita tambien'

well i got no money but i got my honey sitting
eight thousand miles away
and it doesn't feel grand but i'll be holding his hand
in a hundred and eighty two days

well i'll be alright once i've boarded my flight
cause every six day war's gonna end
and i'll get no lovin' but it's better than nothin'
to have a stack of lovin' letters to send

oh, there's a man over there in a mackinaw coat
who sailed out to sea in an old yellow boat
caught a fish in his fingers and a frog in his throat
and he croaked 'til he washed up ashore

checkin' in with my new year's resolutions

i realised this morning that it's the 30th of january, and there are 31 days in january, and one of my resolutions was to complete at least twelve songs this year, which works out to one song a month, and i still haven't written a complete song yet this year. i've developed and finished a couple of things but i haven't done anything from scratch. and i'm going out tonight.

so at some point tomorrow i really need to find time to sit down with a guitar and write a whole song. either that or i will try to find a melody/basic accompaniment for stripes. on one hand that would be a lot easier, since i've already written the words and even got started on a melody, but the whole point of "stripes" was to be an exercise in expansive & creative melody writing so i'd really like to take my time over it. perhaps a better thing to do would be just to knock off another disposable little folky thing, just to stick to the resolution and keep practising. maybe i'll work on lyrics this afternoon.

my other resolutions are going okay, i guess? i haven't "achieved" any of them yet, but i haven't screwed up yet either.

plus, on sunday i will celebrate 5 months without coffee or nailbiting. i am great!

i stated a few months ago that i'd permit myself to drink coffee again once i got to argentina. no real reason why, except that the coffee at work is free and so i found myself drinking lots of horrible cups of instant shite every day and giving myself a headache. i don't intend to start biting my nails again, though.

i've been doing other creative stuff, honestly! i keep forgetting to take pictures, though. lots of journal-related stuff. i'm starting to get good at journalling, kind of, although the only time i ever write is on the bus so my writing is always shaky.

life's pretty busy. i leave for buenos aires in ten days, at which point i guess i will have to put this blog on hiatus. unless i find myself somehow producing wonderful creative things every day when i'm there, but i don't really foresee that happening.

3.5 days left in the office! that's 27.5 more hours of procrastination, minesweeper, facebook and the lonely planet forums.

love love love
lion

24. easy (take two)

i realised i never mentioned that i finished, kind of, 'easy,' which is a little song i mentioned a while ago on this blog. it is pretty much inspired by dudes like pete seeger and woody guthrie, only it is a poor-little-rich-girl kind of song instead of a i-got-the-dust-pneumonee kind of song. "inverting the formula," you might say. or you might say, "a failed attempt at derivativism."

24. easy

he wakes easy, he who wakes
with creaking bones and shins that ache
senses sun, and quickly shakes
his eyelids from their yellow cake

he smiles easy, he who smiles
without the weight of worthless guiles
takes a chance just to dance a while
with his best girl on the kitchen tiles

why've you got it so easy
you who have it so tough?
this life of leisure brings me no pleasure
and i think i've had enough

he sleeps easy, he who sleeps
with a head split by two fields of sheep
casts his stones and starts to creep
with one small step; one giant leap

milks the cows and pays his dues
he finds the maiden's silver shoes
we meanwhile lie here in bed,
the sheep escaping from our head

why've you got it so easy
you who have it so tough?
this life of leisure brings me no pleasure
and i think i've had enough

he grieves easy, he who grieves
with a dusty sigh and a rolled-up sleeve
folds his brow and slowly breathes in
the scent of hay and fallen leaves

he breaks slowly, he who breaks
from broken bones and organ aches
we break quickly, we who break
from broken hearts and pale mistakes

why've you got it so easy
you who have it so tough?
this life of leisure brings me no pleasure
and i think i've had enough
i think i've had enough
oh, i think i've had enough.

23. stripes

while i'm here i guess may as well post this; these are some lyrics i wrote at work the other day, when i realised that in order to stick to my new years resolution i had better spit out a song as soon as possible. i haven't tried finding a melody yet, though, so my resolution still may fail before the end of the month.

i've deliberately made it quite different from my usual writing, which tends to be fairly compact and structured with reasonably tight rhymes. this is about as close to unstructured writing as i am likely to get, the reason being that i want to start experimenting with longer, more expansive melody lines, which is one of the things i most admire in songwriters - the shins (see: "australia", "new slang") and okkervil river (see: "lost shorelines") do it wonderfully.

so it occurred to me that perhaps i need a more open lyrical structure to work with. so far i haven't taken this one out of the office; it will be interesting to see whether or not it actually works when i sit down with a guitar.

the last 'verse' is despicable. i suspect a lot of these lyrics will change. but i do like the third verse and even the second a little. they're the words i started with. maybe i shouldn't have taken them in the direction i did.

23. stripes

nothing was ever right
but grew less right
when he desired the rush of streets
and me, i wanted salted skin and fire

i saw it like a bird in my mind's eye
the misery and romance of the lines
that deviate between two lover's spines

those same haphazard stripes could be the ribbons
that might bind you,
or could be the way a mattress demarcates two separate lives

and although i missed each sorry word
each clumsy jolting touch i heard that he was doing well
and as it happened i was getting by just fine

til in a house with moats on every floor
and electronics in the door
i thought about the words he wrote
and everything that he stood for

and then i got a message on my phone
to say that he was coming home
but on his last night there he simply could not help but feel alone
and i felt alone

i couldn't get to where we said we'd meet
so i stood cold out in the street
feeling stupid in a new red coat with stockings on my feet

i bashed my phone and i made noise
to no avail, i lost my voice
and so my friends dragged me away. i had no choice, but i was glad

and later, i was sleeping on a mattress
at my friend's house
never demarcated
simply meant to be slept on by one
so i slept alone
i slept alone

i heard my phone and with my ragged throat
picked up the call and spoke
and with my last remaining shreds of speech
i told him
everything i never knew i hoped
so dearly i could say.

22. BUSS OH NINE - sexicana

next on the list of wonderful and wacky activities my friends and i participated in on our holiday was: SEXICANA - a mexican party that relied heavily on the silly and potentially offensive stereotypes of mexicanism we all know and love. we ate tacos and burritos and damien's special nachos, and drank coronas like the plebs we are.

we made all of our costumes and all the decorations out of bits of coloured paper and pens, things we'd brought down with us, and a couple of props we picked up at the local bargain store (eg. sombreros). it took us about an hour in total to prepare the cooking/costumes/decorations i think we did okay!


a mexican feast!


did you know? mexicans LOVE playing pool. (ps. ignore charming log cabin picture in the background)


bonita and clyde, sexy banditos on the run from the law


anne: looking pretty mexican


moriarty: looking pretty mexican


mexican twister! magda, right, reviews films (you can read her thoughts here) and she got the game as part of a promotional pack for the heartbreak kid, oddly enough.


i'm not sure this is strictly traditional


"bird and boot": artwork by ben


it turned out we had lots of tequila left over the next night.

these pictures are, as always, from magda and jenny. thanks for never complaining when i steal your photos without consent you guys!

love love love
lion

been away from keyboard with travel plans, etc.

something to inspire you until i next post:

fashion tends to irritate me rather than interest me these days. even though i like it when people wear colorful and unique clothes, i get frustrated because it seems the whole world (well, probably not so much the gaza strip) has become so absorbed with lookbook.nu and being photographed for their local street press that they've forgotten that for the most part it's probably more sensible that your life should dictate your clothes and not the other way around.

for this reason i love to see stylish and fun-looking people riding bikes. candid photos, preferably. people who happen to look awesome, yet their first priority is to live their lives! is this, from copenhagen cycle chic not the most wonderful blog post?

it's mainly just two pictures, so just give it a quick glimpse.

and a quote from an american suffragist called susan b. anthony:

Let me tell you what I think of bicycling. I think it has done more to emancipate women than anything else in the world. It gives women a feeling of freedom and self-reliance. I stand and rejoice every time I see a woman ride by on a wheel...the picture of free, untrammelled womanhood."

oh, and i saw nick cave last night! at the belvoir ampitheatre in perth, which was a very pretty venue. nick cave is basically the definition of inspiring, his is the sort of career i would most like to emulate (apart from the drug-ravaged part i suppose?) i really love watching performers who are on the older side. they have a wonderful confidence, a delightful respect for the crowd and a sense of showmanship that is rarely replicated by new kids on the block. now i can't wait to see leonard cohen.

"are you touching my cock?... jesus christ. i'm fifty-one."

21. BUSS OH NINE - silly scrabble

silly scrabble is a great game. basically you just make up words that are extremely hilarious, and everyone is a winner. also, you can pretty much break any of the rules of scrabble if you like.

in theory it sounds as if it would not be that fun, but best thing is that you have to provide an explanation for your word. so sure you can get away with putting down random letters and saying "a rare breed of dog with a long tail," but if you don't make them laugh then your friends will soon hate you. consequently you are forced to be creative!

here are some photos from magda.


highlights: "catdog," "ovey" and "oynae" ("oy vey" and "oy nay")


personal favourites: "imadad," "urseszy"


please note: "diytiles" (look at the "s) and "troffl" ("terribly rolling on floor fucking laughing")


these last two pictures are actually from a real game of scrabble, but they are still pretty silly. i wasn't playing, but sitting behind moriarty at the time, and every time i glanced at his letters he'd formed them into something odd, seemingly for his own amusement. here is poor old jenny, oblivious to our cruelty.


moriarty with the greatest scrabble play of all time.

pola droid!

i've been pretty stressed out with travel plans, so in lieu of anything really creative, here are some poladroids i did yesterday! i really can't take any credit since the first two photos are stolen from magda and the second two from jen (the last snap is from a disposable camera, it was taken years ago), but at least they look a bit nice! i should probably also thank the people who came up with the poladroid software, really.

i did a whole pile but these were my favourites. i like the daytime shots best, they have a nice nostalgic feel and the colours are pleasantly lurid.


jenny. this is my favourite of all i think!


sasha, tom, moriarty


mexican me


moriarty again


me and travelling companion ro

love love love
lion

ps. can anyone tell me how to remove the red borders for this post specifically?

buss, oh, nine!

hello internet! i am back from almost two weeks away from the internet if you can believe it. i holidayed in busselton, a grand little beach town in the south-west of western australia, with twenty of the greatest people in the world.


i find this group shot sort of staid and amusingly miserable; i suppose we were sad to be leaving. in fact we've been holidaying in busselton for five years now and every year we take a group photograph on the last day, and almost every single one possesses a vibe of mysterious misery.

my friends are highly creative if odd people and whenever we spend more than an hour together then we seem to come up with some ridiculous plan or project, which we often take further than is necessary. so i've decided to detail in several separate posts the silly-but-amusing things we came up with as a group.

of course, i did some creative stuff on my own. but it was mainly just writing in my journal and playing guitar.


i bought the dress from a hippy-ish second-hand store in busselton. technically it's too big but it has a convenient drawstring waist so i love it anyway.


this is a gorgeous shot taken by my friend jen (in fact she took all of the photos on this page, you can see another 84 of jen's busselton photos here if you are so inclined). it's the bottom of the garden of the house where we stayed. we had our own private jetty and some days i would go to the bottom of the garden and play guitar sitting on the jetty.

i had a really good holiday you guys!

love love love
lion